Recently a friend of mine told me that he was going to ask this female friend of his to enter into a relationship with him. My advice was to tell him that he should probably try to figure out if she feels the same way before he pops the question. But he went right ahead, and ended up going down in flames. Now he tells me that the friendship is awkward and strained since she rejected him.
Anyone with similar experiences? I think that sometimes girls get comfortable with guys who are just their friends and even start acting "couple-ish." The dudes get confused and mistake friendship with intimacy...How can a guy really tell the difference? Sometimes the girl is actually harbouring a crush and scared of telling the guy. Or both persons don't want to risk ruining the relationship......
Friends to lovers.....Is it a good idea?
Check out one of my favourite songs from when Usher was Usher; Lovers and Friends Remix
Well its been a year since me and my friend of 13 years, became more that friends. In the beginning it was bliss but a few months down the line, things that I would laugh at when we were friends became serious issues that had to be dealt with. We started having frequent arguments and it seemed like we were not going to make it as lovers and eventually not as friends either. We valued our relationship but our many years as friends was the most important thing to us. We decided to take a step back and address why things were so different. We had many weeks of intense conversations regarding this change in emotions and level of commitment. After that we had a much better realtionship as friends and lovers too. This change can be very hard but both parties just need to make a decision how important it is to them and work on it.
ReplyDeleteI think if u value ur friendship that much to not risk,a rejection and disappointment that you should just stay as friend,and if u are a girl who likes ur friend,then wait for that friend to make the first step,like wise if u are a boy likeing ur girlfriend wait for her to atleast give u a sign that there is more than just a common likeing,that way no one gets hurt,because normally in this situation,the friendship normally ends.
ReplyDeleteWell there are friends with benefit lol
ReplyDeleteFriends sometimes become lovers cause the people they date often do not know them or understand them as well as that friend
ReplyDeleteIt may make things akward between the friends if they do not make it as a couple
Some choose to take that chance, others dont endager their friendships
Sometimes a friend can make the best lover hmm hmm
It's simply a personal choice.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely one of those risks some people wouldn't dare make
Worked for me!
Well they could choose to have sex sometimes to relieve some stress.
ReplyDeleteBut they both have to agree that's the limit of their behavior
Although that's taking it pretty far
Friends to lovers can be a difficult situation...
ReplyDeleteI ask myself the question is it better to have the friendship or the relationship... great friend vs. a lover?
You have to be careful where that situation ia concerened, you have to think that the relationship may never be the same (with acceptance or rejection) and if it doesnt work out its unlikely the friendship will work.
ReplyDeletehahha. well the impt qt is, if the relationship does not survive, will u b ok just being friends again.. and will u ever get that special close 'friendship' back... if the friendship is impt and you dont kno wat ure answer 2 that qt is, then it may not b worth it.. if the friendship is not as yet that solid, then, i guess there isnt much to loose.
ReplyDeleteFriends to lovers is a personal choice and can be a very difficult situation...not easily handled.
ReplyDeleteFreinds to lovers can be hard and it can be easy. Depends on understanding of both individuals.Now the trick question how is the guy in the story going to know when the urge he had in the back of his mind from day one is ok to proceed with? Attraction is not a choice he has to make the woman feel something so she dont have a choice but to want to be with him by not acting all softy and smiley but by being a man, mostl likely he ended up in the freind zone by trying to get this girl to be with him. Guys being clingy and submissive to women is not attractive just dont be jerks.
ReplyDeletewell friends to lovers dont always work how you want it to. sometimes you get so attached to that other person that you might end up seeing him or her as your brother or sister. I dont think dat friends to lovers is a good idea.
ReplyDeletewhen you really look at it its kind of good though because you may get to know things about that person that they might not feel comfortable talking to their parents about and then that individual may get attached to that person and may feel that they can trust and tell them anything so then that relationship can grow and they might get so comfortable with that person that they may not have a problem in having a relationship that is more than friends
ReplyDeleteFriends to lovers hmmmmmmm that can be a risk like most ppl say especially if u are a girl and u value the boy friendship....yes u might choose to take it to the next level but if it doesn't work then thats somethin u goin to have to deal with for the rest of u life.... my best friend and i decided to take it to the next level sad to say right now our friendship is not the way it use to be cause we tried the lovers thingy.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion at times it might work but for a relationship to really work as a friend i think there must be some attraction there first otherwise leave it as is
Well i've had the opposite, lover's to friends. Just can't seem to lose the loves. When a guy friend expresses any sexual interest in you it becomes kinda awkward because if you're not interested then you now have to watch what you say, watch how you dress, be careful how you touch him, you feel guilty when your man asks what's going on btw you and your friend and you say "nothing".....like i said...awkward
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the nature of your friendship...if you guys were really close and both of u sense that connection then go right ahead. BUT if it's jus that u guys r close bt not bold enough to go to the next level then forget it; don't even try. Asking how the person feels before actually saying how YOU feel is a good idea
ReplyDeleteHmmm. That is such a hard choice because you might just end up with nothing. On the other hand nothing risked nothing gained.
ReplyDeleteI think it all depends on just how deep the friendship is because I mean would you really want ur best guy friend that you've cried to about past bfs dished dirt to about all the skeletons in ur closet to suddenly be ur boo. It could make for an akward relationship or it could make for a very intense relationship because he/she would know u very well and would know when you're happy/sad/lying (oops)just like you would for them.
I think that alot of discussion should be had before engaging in such a relationship because there is so much at stake. Besides you gotta agree not to throw past misdeeds in each other faces. Maybe you could get a read of the situation see what him/her thinks about friends to lovers first. If they're not repelled by the idea then maybe jokingly tell them like what if I told you I was crazy about you to see if they freak. Just be prepared for whatever the reaction is.
So anyways Amplified you nice wee. I always liked to see you. Even in grade school. ;)